


because you loved me (where draws the breath of all persisting stars)

by light_loves_the_dark



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Both Platonic and Romantic Soulmates, Civil War Fix-It, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, M/M, Mostly Fluff, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, everyone does
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 00:49:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8776528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/light_loves_the_dark/pseuds/light_loves_the_dark
Summary: She smiles up at him, hoping her lack of speech has been taken as awe of being in his presence, and speaks: "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Stark."
She holds her breath, never dropping her innocent smile as she feels both Pepper and Tony's eyes snap to her face. There is no way of training someone to reject their soulmate (though the KGB would have burned the mark off her skin if it were possible) but she knows, if Clint had never brought her to SHIELD, her orders would have been to kill him. 
(Or)
Natasha has Tony's handwriting on her hip. This changes nothing - and everything.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, thanks for reading, and buckle up! 
> 
> So Ironwidow is the only for sure romantic soulmate pair. The other two mentioned can be taken either way. 
> 
> This is also very optimistic and things are solved relatively easily but sometimes I think we all need a little of that. 
> 
> Title from e.e. cummings.

_(past)_

 

"What's your name, lady?"

 

Natasha Romanoff freezes, fighting off the urge to immediately seek out the owner of that voice. It is smooth, low, and playful, and her hands tighten on the clipboard she holds. She forces herself to move slowly, naturally, ignoring the burning sensation on her hip where those very words are displayed.

 

She takes a moment to swallow at the appearance of her soulmate (and god, is he her type) before scrambling to find a response generic enough not to give her away. She certainly couldn't respond to his question.

 

Luckily, Pepper Potts gives her an out, and after an odd look at her new assistant, introduces her as Natalie Rushman.

 

_That's right, you're Natalie. You're a spy. You need to fool him long enough to save his life, then you never have to see him again._

 

So she smiles up at him, hoping her lack of speech has been taken as awe of being in his presence, and speaks: "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Stark."

 

She holds her breath, never dropping her innocent smile as she feels both Pepper and Tony's eyes snap to her face. There is no way of training someone to reject their soulmate (though the KGB would have burned the mark off her skin if it were possible) but she knows, if Clint had never brought her to SHIELD, her orders would have been to kill him.

 

She is the Black Widow, responsible for so many deaths she has lost count. But she is positive she would have never been and never will be able to hurt the man in front of her, and that thought alone keeps her counterfeit smile in place.

 

"Are you-" Miss Potts begins, then thinks better of it. Natasha watches both of their shoulders slump when she does not move to reveal a matching mark, one pair in disappointment and the other in relief.

 

Feeling it is safe to speak again, she approaches the boxing ring. "I need your impression," she says softly, and these are her true first words. Words that are not entrenched in subterfuge, but it is too late.

 

Tony Stark stares at her intently, and the words on her hip respond with a flash of heat. She doesn't flinch. "You have a quiet reserve-"

 

"I meant your fingerprint."

 

She takes a moment to observe him; he stands a couple of inches taller than her, even in heels, and his body radiates warmth. She wonders if that is the soulbond. His eyes are dark and his laugh lines are prominent, but he strikes her as someone who has seen their fair share of hatred and death. And, if she takes his SHIELD file at face value, he has.

 

He presses his finger to the screen, eyes never leaving her face. She thanks him, meeting his gaze for a moment before looking down shyly. She has a job to do, after all, and Natalie is very flirtatious. Especially with her new, handsome, billionaire boss, who also happens to be dying.

 

"Will that be all, Mr. Stark?" She speaks in a low, sultry tone, and watches his eyes darken.

 

Ms. Potts steps between them, dismissing her and leading Tony away. Natasha throws a casual gaze at Happy Hogan, the chauffeur and bodyguard, making a few mental notes about his form in the ring. She might not have been able to show off as she had planned upon entered the room, but she certainly has Stark’s attention. Eventually, Fury would break her cover and she might have a couple minutes to give Hogan a few pointers.

 

Though she doesn't plan on claiming Tony as her soulmate (at this, her mark screams in protest) it wouldn't do for him to be defenseless without armor.

 

*

 

Tony stares in utter shock at his CEO's assistant, dressed in a black leather catsuit.

 

"You're fired."

 

Natalie stares back; she smirks but it is almost gentle, as if they are friends and she successfully pulled a prank on him. His heart stutters. His upper arm burns as well, but he discounts it.

 

"That's not up to you."

 

*

 

Natasha looks up at the sky. Her eyes are wide despite the bright sun. She holds her breath.

 

"Close it."

 

She almost refuses, almost tells Captain America to fuck off, fuck Manhattan because her soulmate's up there, and if she closes the portal she'll never get to bury him or properly mourn or tell him the truth. She'll never get to say she regrets her judgment, that she realizes now he is more than a genius in metal armor: he is a hero.

 

But she shoves the sentiment down where she stores her tears and heartbreak and the sudden realization that she probably loves him. Then she shoves Loki's scepter into the tesseract.

 

Eight seconds later, Ironman falls from the sky. The Hulk catches him, and the Black Widow knows true relief.

 

*

 

Tony is in New York when everything goes to shit and Natasha releases every SHIELD file to the public. When JARVIS informs him, he drops his wrench and boots up his favorite hacking program. He pulls and deletes every file pertaining to the Avengers he can without looking suspicious. He does not ask himself why he starts with Natasha’s.

 

When he gets to Clint's, he realizes it has already been edited by someone with the user Skyenet. He has seen her before- a little over a year ago she went head to head with JARVIS during what he could only call a playful attack on SI. She was also on his IT Department's watch list, which of course means he had offered her a job. She never replied.

 

He decides to test her, pulling up a message board and waiting for her to connect. She does.

 

_'Hail HYDRA.'_

 

A minute later, there is a response.

 

_'Fuck HYDRA.'_

 

_'Also I know you're Tony Stark- JARVIS, you're better than this.’_

 

_'Sorry Miss Skye.'_

 

"Hey, quit it, J," Tony admonishes his AI, retaking the message.

 

_'Yeah, not really our day- a little occupied with the whole SHIELD is HYDRA, thing. What the hell happened to you last year?'_

_'I got a better offer than you,'_ she types. Then: _'actually, it was a pretty shitty offer, but I was recruited by the same guy who threatened you with Supernanny, so if you're doubting me, remember he's pretty convincing.'_

 

Coulson.

 

Tony rubs the spot when his arc reactor used to be; he takes a moment to remember. He is rereading the message when the wording catches his eye.

 

_'Wait, what do you mean he_ is _??'_

_'Oops, ttyl! Hurry up, you know you spent too much time with Agent Romanoff's files.'_

 

She shoots him several heart emojis before disappearing from the web.

 

Almost instantaneously, his phone rings.

 

It is Natasha, asking if he got to any of the files. He tells her he did his best, and asks her if she's alright. Instead of replying, she hangs up.

 

_Women_ , he thinks, ignoring the part of him that is actually worried about her wellbeing. After all, it’s not like she cares about him.

 

*

 

"You okay?"

 

She reaches down to squeeze his shoulder, which is about as much affection she feels he can take. They are clandestinely tactile people, both of them; she knows because she wants to fold him in her arms. She knows because he leans into her touch with a certain hunger, like a moth chasing the light.

 

But if she is a light, she is not a fire or a sun. She is artificial. She is a flickering lightbulb held up by strings that she does not always pull. When she falls, this moment, this tender trust she has taken years to mend, will shatter.

 

He continues to look at her as though she is the only one in the world he trusts. "Always," he replies with a dry note to his voice, but even still his gaze tells her he has hope. She gives him a sad smile, for what Steve has done and what she is certain she will inevitably have to do.

 

A few hours later she tries to stand between Steve and his freedom. She wants to hurt him, to dig her fingernails into his earnest face and ask him why. But she already knows why, and however important her soulmate is to her, Steve is her Captain and friend, someone who helped her rebuild herself after SHIELD. She cannot let the fight get any dirtier, so she fires at T'Challa. She lets them go.

 

Maybe it is because she wants to stop the bloodshed or maybe it is because she knows Steve, understands that look in his eyes when he talks about Bucky. The ache in his soul mirrors hers.

 

She holds the feeling of having Tony's trust close to her heart and refuses to let it go, even when he calls her a double agent and tells her to run.

 

She runs, but she does not go far.

 

*

 

_(present)_

 

"Tony."

 

Tony looked up, pushing Steve's letter underneath other papers on his desk. He wasn't sure how many times he had read it - always stopping at the sentence where Steve tells him the Avengers are his. He wanted to laugh: what Avengers? They were either injured or missing or in hiding; there were no Avengers anymore.

 

And then here was the missing one, the one who had left, but before that, the only one to stay by his side. Then, of course, she betrayed him, and Tony was angry for ever trusting her a second time. Now, she filled up the doorway to his office, too cautious to enter the room.

 

"Nat," he replied, his tone even. "How the hell did you get in here?"

 

Natasha raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. She didn't need to: he didn't even really pretend to be surprised to see her. They both knew that he had distracted the security. The only person she had passed on the way up was Vision, who merely nodded in reply to her greeting. It was the easiest infiltration she had ever done.

 

Tony stood up from his desk, motioning her to the couch. When he sat, she remained standing, something horribly truthful lurking in her eyes.

 

"I know you knew," he said, breaking the long silence. "Cap told me... He told me you knew."

 

Natasha exhaled in one, short puff of air, walking around the couch to sit on the table facing the couch. Tony tried to make himself look her straight in the eyes, make her feel what she had done to him, but the urge to put his head in his hands won out. "I didn't know it was the Winter Soldier," she said finally. "But that doesn't make it right. I'm sorry."

 

Tony remained silent, refusing to look up. Natasha shifted, an uncharacteristic tell of her nervousness. She reached out to lay a hand on his knee, but paused halfway there, thinking better of it.

 

"I might not be able to ever make up for that, but I'm here with you now. Believe me, Tony, I'm still on your side. I just didn't want anyone to do anything they'd regret."

 

Tony couldn't hold back his snort of disbelief. "You know what I regret? Ever trusting you! You and Cap have been all buddy buddy since the Triskelion went down and the whole world went to shit. Why did I trust you?" His voice broke on 'trust', and he hated himself for it. He stood up, avoiding her gaze as he made his way back to his desk. "Why did you let them go?"

 

Natasha sighed, her whole body slumping a little. "They're soulmates, Tony. I knew Steve wouldn't stop. He would've killed one of us before letting us take Barnes."

 

Tony exploded, rounding on her. "That doesn't make it even remotely okay! You let them get into that plane; Rhodes is fucking paralyzed because of you." It wasn't true, it hadn't been just her fault, but he felt a sense of triumph went she flinched, as small as the reaction was. Any honest reaction from the Black Widow was an accomplishment, he thought viciously.

 

Natasha stood; every inch of her body was straining forward, ready for a fight. "I was trying to do what was best for the team, Tony. I didn't want anyone to die because you and Steve are two of the most stubborn people on the entire goddamn planet! Wanda wasn't pulling any punches in that fight, which is a whole other issue we have to address, and T'Challa would've killed Barnes if he had gotten the chance."

 

"Get out." It was almost inaudible, but his tone was dead serious. "Get the fuck out of my home."

 

If he thought she had flinched earlier, it was nothing to her reaction to this comment. Rejection shone, clear as day, in her eyes. The fight left her in a matter of seconds, and she walked towards him, moving around the desk. She leant back against it, posture relaxed, but he had known her long enough to know how tense she really was.

 

"This used to be my home too, you know." Her tone was almost conversational. Tony rolled his chair back in order to keep some semblance of distance between them, tilting his head so he could meet her eyes.

 

"So? Tell me, Agent Widow. What speech have you prepared about family and sacrifice that's going to make this all better? Rhodey is downstairs, barely able to walk. Steve and his best buddy and the rest of the Avengers are MIA, regardless of how many times _Captain America_ says the team is mine. So," he repeated, his voice cracking further, " _tell me_."

 

Natasha tried to ignore the way his shoulders shook. She knew that what happened next would push him over the edge, but it was time. This was what she had returned to do. He had to know, and she was done hiding the truth. Done stopping herself from asking about his well-being. Done hiding the fact that every time she thought he was dead, she wanted to die.

 

"Calling me a double agent..." She took a deep breath, hands moving to grip the bottom of her shirt. "It hurt, more than any quip you've ever made about me. I've always been on your side, from the beginning and through everything, even when I’ve been angry or annoyed. And here's the proof."

 

She lifted the fabric, baring her left hip. At first, Tony couldn’t bear to look, and for one hilarious second he thought she was -very badly- attempting to seduce him. But her eyes were vulnerable and pleading for once so he allowed himself to look down at the small expanse of exposed skin.

 

When he took in the chicken scratch ( _his_ chicken scratch) spelling out the first words he ever said to her, he froze. For moment he didn't -couldn't- understand. His eyes darted to hers, and though she looked wary she was meeting his gaze, clearly waiting for his reaction.

 

He wanted to scream. He wanted to punch something. He wanted to be angry, he wanted to throw up.

 

He wanted to ignore the voice in his head that was telling him that he knew, had always known, that the frequency the words written on his body had come up throughout his life had never really hid her from him.

 

But despite all the things he wanted, he couldn't hold back the sobs that wrenched themselves from his body. Horrified, but unable to stop, he pulled his hand back from where it had been reaching out to touch her without his conscious approval. He folded in on himself, trying to turn the chair around before she saw his face.

 

He cried for Rhodey, for Steve, for his dead parents. He cried for Natasha, and how much worse her life must've been than what she had told them if she had been this afraid of letting him in. So afraid she had left their soul bond to rust for three years.

 

To his surprise, he felt a hesitant, warm hand settle between his neck and shoulder, the thumb moving in slow, soothing circles. There was no more contact than that, and honestly if there had been he would've pulled away. Tony felt a brief flash of gratefulness and understanding, directed towards whoever decided which two people in the world to link together.

 

After what seemed like hours of this, he spun the chair around, cautious, the shape of her blurry. He took a chance, leaning forward and resting his head on her hip. He was angry, sure, but he couldn't remember the last time someone that wasn't Pepper had comforted him like this. She froze at first, but then he felt the tension bleed out of her. The words had a different texture against his cheek than the rest of her pale skin, and the warmth he felt at the idea that however fucked up everything was someone was still made for him helped the sobs gradually fade. Natasha made to move away, sure that he didn't want her that close for too long, but Tony reached around her hip to hold her to him.

 

"Tony, I-"

 

Tony tightened his arm in a request for silence. "I don't need you to apologize. I'm still not through processing this, and you know this needs to take the backburner until we figure out this mess with the Accords."

 

Natasha squeezed his shoulder in agreement. "I know; I just wanted you to know I wouldn't lie to you, unless it was absolutely necessary. I’m tired, I’m done with all of it, I promise - I'm on your side. And all this guilt you're feeling? Yes, it's your fault, but it's Steve's and mine and everyone else's too. So stop pitying yourself." She leaned back, and this time Tony let her, catching her hand as it fell from his shoulder to loosely hold in his, like a bridge stretched out between them.

 

"That's fair," he sighed, catching sight of the burner phone next to his copy of the Accords. They were both right and both wrong, Steve and him. "So what do we do?"

 

Natasha smirked at him. "I have a couple ideas. But we need to get to New York."

 

Tony smiled, squeezing her hand before letting go. He stood slowly, suddenly conscious of the dried tears and the probable appearance of this face. "Meet you out front in five? I need to change." Natasha nodded, moving to leave his office. "And Nat?"

 

She turned, questioning. Tony took a deep breath. "I can't fall in love with you right now. But you are my friend, and my teammate, and I think, someday, I could."

 

Natasha looked away for a long moment, and Tony noticed with surprise that her hands were shaking. "I think," she began, clearing her throat, "someday, you'd be very easy to love, Tony Stark."

 

*

_(future)_

 

Natasha's solution turns out to be Pepper, which if Tony is honest is his first instinct too. Pepper is efficient and ruthless, and even though they didn't work out she is Tony's closest friend.

 

So they tell Pepper everything, and though there are many raised eyebrows from the CEO of Stark Industries, she promises to do whatever she can to help them. Providing, of course, Tony starts showing up for more board meetings, she tells the two pointedly. Natasha promises she’ll drag him if she has to, and Tony watches with hope as a tendril of camaraderie winds its way around the two most important women in his life.

 

Pepper launches the PR miracle of the century. Gradually, the images and aftermath of the Accords fades a little to make way for the public's interest in an Avengers' romance. Somehow, very few journalists figure out they're being played, or if they do, they keep silent as they soak up the many public appearances of the couple. Natasha, as the only original female Avenger, has always kept to herself, and Tony Stark is very rarely genuine towards the media. It is refreshing.

 

"Mr. Stark! What has Miss Romanoff revealed to you about her past affiliations? What makes you trust her?"

 

Pepper tells them to make an appearance at the MET Gala, and so here they are, Natasha charming the elite of America in a backless gold dress (accented with her red hair, Tony easily draws the connection to his colors and wonders if that was the effect she was going for). Tony, on the other hand, is forced to listen to the journalists and paparazzi intent on warning him away from his soulmate.

 

"It wasn't her fault, what she did," he answers automatically. "She was brainwashed."

_(It wasn't his fault, Tony.)_

 

"She was a victim."

_(HYDRA killed your parents, not him.)_

 

"Mr. Stark?"

 

_(I'm sorry for what happened, Tony- Howard was my friend too. But you can't blame Bucky.)_

 

"Tony?"

 

He starts in surprise, turning to see Natasha's concerned gaze. The reporter stares at them both, eyes wide.

 

"I'm fine." he gives her a reassuring smile, and she smiles back, and despite his confusing revelation moments earlier, he is happy to see her.

 

Natasha turns briefly to face the reporter, informing her that Claire Danes' dress lights up this year. The reporter catches the hint, scampering away from their imposing presence.

 

Tony takes her hand off his arm, twining it with his. It is surreal to be here with her, openly, even though they haven't spoken about their relationship further than they had that first day. Pepper's media campaign has already done wonders for the Avengers' public image, and Natasha and T’Challa are in close contact discussing amendments to the Accords. Tony stays far away from the two in that regard, choosing to work on pulling their allies close. The American government and their refusal to consider amnesty for the Avengers, or to take responsibility for the conditions of their super powered prison, is easily his most frustrating point.

 

(they do fire General Ross within hours of the Avengers' escape, right after Tony releases pictures of the inhumane prison to the public. Natasha comes back to the tower that night with blood on her sleeves and a hard, haunted look in her eyes. Tony is watching the coverage of Ross' dismissal, and when he asks what she did she flicks her gaze to the screen and answers "For Wanda", and Tony realizes they are both haunted by that image of the Scarlet Witch in her cell, helpless and desperate. he nods, beckoning her over to the couch. she sheds the bloody shirt and picks up a t-shirt that hangs from the back of the armchair, pulling it on and sitting next to him. they sit in silence as Ross appears on the screen, faint bruises peering out around his neck and arms, and announces he is leaving the country to pursue a new career. looking at Natasha's smug expression, Tony feels a sense of victory, but it is hollow.)

 

"Are you alright?" Natasha pulls him from his thoughts, leaning her head on his shoulder. It is a vulnerable pose, and he feels something warm burst in his chest at the obvious trust in the gesture.

 

He raises her hand to his mouth, pressing a light kiss across her knuckles.

 

"Always," he replies, and this time around he means it a little bit more.

 

(that picture of the two avengers covers every newspaper the next morning, and Natasha rips it out, folding and tucking it into her nightstand.)

 

**

 

When an anxious Phil Coulson shows up at the tower, Natasha almost acts like she has had no idea he's alive. In her mind, he certainly deserves it.

 

Pepper Potts dashes her plans when FRIDAY announces that the CEO of Stark Industries has already met with Coulson at the door to the elevator, and they request her presence.

 

She closes her laptop where she keeps her growing edits and amendments to the Accords, deletes her current messaging thread with Clint full of Nathaniel's baby pictures, and makes her way to the common level.

 

"Nat," Coulson greets her in a gentle voice, fingers tapping against his leg in a nervous tick she thought he had gotten rid of years ago. Pepper moves to stand on Natasha's side of the room in a show of strength that surprises her. Pepper is in no way her biggest fan, but it looks like she has not gotten over this betrayal either. "I'm-"

 

"Alive," she says, and though her voice is also soft it is deadly too. "We know. You haven't been hiding that well." She sees him take a step forward, and she refuses to back away.

 

"I was trying to say that I'm sorry," Coulson pleads, and death has changed him, she realizes. Coulson had never been the pleading type when she knew him.

 

This change makes her inexplicably upset, which makes her angry. "Why are you here, Coulson?" She asked directly.

 

He sighs in a way that makes Natasha want to both hug and punch him. "I need your help."

 

"And what can we help you with, Agent?"

 

Tony waltzes into the room and straight for the bar, where he pours himself a full glass of scotch. Natasha sympathizes, but retrieves a glass for herself and holds it out to him, making sure he gives her at least half of his. She can feel Pepper's relieved gaze on her back.

 

Coulson takes this action in with surprise, and in turn Natasha takes a moment to examine him. He looks older to her, softer. Before, Coulson almost seemed ageless. He was a ruthless SO, but a good man. There are lines around his eyes and mouth, but they are not just from stress; she can tell he laughs more. She watches him rub his wrist where she knows his watch covers his soulmark. Maybe, in the wake of his failed relationship with the cellist, he has finally found someone.

 

Coulson quickly recovers from the shock caused by the united image she knows Tony and she now present, and speaks: "One of my agents is on the run. I need your help finding her."

 

"What did she do?" Pepper asks. Coulson's eyes drop to the ground.

 

"Nothing," he says, and his tone is finally the hard one Natasha remembers. "But she's... different."

 

Suddenly, it all makes sense. "And the Accords require all people with powers to be evaluated and indexed," Tony finishes. "But I want to know why you think we should help you, especially when you haven't even called. Even just a 'Hey guys, not dead!' text would've been appreciated."

 

Coulson looks pained. "I can't make it right, I know, but I'm desperate, Stark. She's the only family I've got."

 

Of course, they agree to help him.

 

It turns out Coulson is behind the new SHIELD, and the woman he's trying to find is their star hacker and a new superhero. Her name is Daisy, Coulson tells them, and his voice is reverent.

 

He also knows people, people even Tony doesn’t know, and soon enough the government pledges to support the Avengers if they make peace with the UN. Though there are a fair share of people who are angry over this, Natasha instagrams a video of Dummy lighting sparklers and Tony full-on kissing Rhodey on the mouth before telling him that things are finally going _right_ and there are too many people celebrating with them that no one cares about the dissenters. 

 

*

 

Time passes with relative ease. They have low point and high points, but it is quiet the day T’Challa and Natasha submit their final draft of edits to the UN.

 

Natasha makes the journey to Tony's workshop to schedule their trip to Vienna. Like always, he is hard at work, making modifications to the Ironman armor as well as her earpiece – it had shorted out on their last mission, and she knows it caused him more panic then he’d care to admit. She also knows he has continued to work on their other teammates’ weaponry (though neither of them have touched Steve’s shield) and wonders when he’ll finally admit he cares. She is pulled out of her thoughts when the man in question looks up at her, and despite his obvious exhaustion his eyes light up at her presence.

 

(maybe, she thinks fondly, he doesn’t need to admit it. it’s there, if she looks hard enough, and the woman who told Loki love is for children is convinced just a little more that she might have been too quick in judgment.)

 

Breaking eye contact, she walks over and carefully nudges Peter Parker, who over the past few months has commandeered a corner of the room for "superhero stuff". She tells him to head home, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder as he passes by. He's a sweet kid, really. Tony had been wrong to put him in danger, but she knows from personal experience the world they live in requires gifted children to grow up quickly.

 

"It's done," she tells her soulmate once the boy is gone, and from the look on his face she doesn't need to elaborate. "They're meeting next week to vote on it, so you'll need to clear your schedule."

 

Tony sighs, walking over to her. Moving slowly, as if to make sure she’s alright with him being close right now, he puts his hands on her hips and rests his forehead on her shoulder. “What do you think the verdict’s gonna be?” He asks, his words muffled in the fabric of her shirt. His thumb presses into her words, and though the contact feels amazing Natasha cannot take being held like she’s loved when she knows she’s not.

 

So she runs her fingers through his hair before stepping back, tucking her hand through his arm instead. Tony pouts for a second at the rejection before giving her his signature ‘I’m fine’ smirk and leading her upstairs. “Not sure, but T’Challa thinks it’ll be good.”

 

Tony snorts. “Puss in Boots hasn’t been in the hero business as long as me. I’m just being a realist.”

 

Natasha rolls her eyes, letting go of Tony so she can make herself a cup of coffee. “Mm,” she replies, “that’s my job.”

 

“And you’re so good at it,” he says, smooth like honey, hopping up to sit on his favorite barstool. “Make me a cup?”

 

Natasha turns in order to raise an eyebrow at him. “What will you give me if I do, Stark?” She says, her voice low. Tony ignores the shiver that goes up his spine, noticing she’s already measuring out enough coffee for two despite her words.

 

“I don’t know.” He draws it out, affecting a dramatically thoughtful face in order to see her give him his favorite slight smile.

 

_There it is._ He mentally gives himself a pat on the back. “What about a free trip to Vienna?” he asks, texting his PA about scheduling his private jet.

 

As she pretends to mull this over, he thinks that these quiet moments, the ones in between the battles and fights and emotionally charged scenes, these are the ones that count.

 

(she leaves a copy of the accords on his desk, flipped open to a page titled ‘pardons’. his hands tremble as his fingers trace over the name of his parents’ killer and the ally who defended him. the black sharpie that he uses to make his edits to the document remains in his drawer, untouched.) 

 

*

 

The flight goes by about how Tony expects, his hands itching to do _something_ after only about half an hour in the air. Natasha has curled up with a book on the Bolshevik Revolution, threatening bodily harm if he disturbs her during her few hours of peace before they land. He stays silent after that; he doesn’t think he’ll ever stop being at least a little bit afraid of the Black Widow.

 

They meet T'Challa and his legion of female bodyguards in the lobby of the UN building. After the necessary introductions between Coulson, who arrived with his team a couple of days before them, and the newly crowned King, one of the women steps up to Natasha.

 

"Miss Romanoff, I apologize for my abruptness during our first meeting. It is an honor to meet you officially. I am Okoye," she introduces herself, holding out a strong and calloused hand.

 

Natasha nods, giving the bodyguard a firm handshake. "It's a pleasure. And I accept your apology; we all had a lot on our minds."

 

Tony smirks, tossing a playful glance at his soulmate. "Nat has a tendency to be cryptic and immovable at the worst times - you get used to it," he teases, bumping his shoulder with hers.

 

"Watch it, Stark," she hisses, releasing the Okoye's hand. Her tone turns warm as she addressed the other woman. "I would be honored to spar with you and your team, if we have a chance."

 

The group of women smiles at her as they walk towards the elevator, one staying back with T'Challa when he turns to Tony instead of following after. "Miss Romanoff is a fierce warrior, Mr. Stark. You are a very lucky man."

 

Tony nods, waving T'Challa ahead to the conference room. His eyes easily find Natasha, a burst of red in a room of grey and black. She is smiling as she speaks with the Wakandans, obviously relishing the familiar before she has to put on the persona this meeting requires.

 

He knows that it involves acting like they are in love, which is becoming easier and easier for him. Not that he'll admit it.

 

"Stark?"

 

Tony meets the amused eyes of Phil Coulson, who has probably been watching him watch Natasha. Great. "Agent?" He responds, keeping his tone light.

 

Coulson looks at him seriously. Sometimes Tony forgets that he isn't just helping them out of the goodness of his heart- that Coulson is missing a member of his team. More than that, if Nat's guesses about the way he rubs his soulmark at the mention of Quake are correct. "Good luck in there," he says, reminding Tony of what's at stake. Tony gives him a small smile and thanks him, hoping the outcome of this meeting restores some of the light in Coulson's eyes.

 

Before entering the conference room, Coulson turns to Tony one last time. Expecting some great speech about honesty and responsibility and family, he is very surprised at the words Coulson leaves him with: "the King is right, you know. Natasha is an incredible woman. You're very lucky."

 

The words sound much more like a threat coming from the Direction of SHIELD, but Coulson disappears into the conference room before Tony has the chance to snark back.

 

Instead, he takes a minute to brace himself, filing the words 'I'm beginning to realize that' for later.

 

It doesn’t help that waiting until later is beginning to sound less and less appealing.

 

*

 

The UN agrees. To almost every term, nearly every condition (nothing that they can’t work with) after only two days of deliberation.

 

Natasha isn't really surprised, of course. T'Challa and she make one hell of a negotiating team, and the world has finally started to realize how unsafe they actually feel without a united group of superheroes protecting them.

 

Cameras flash and Natasha remembers she is supposed to be surprised, so she smiles. The smile turns genuine when Tony walks up and kisses her lightly on the cheek, eyes shining, and it is so obvious that he’s doing it because he _wants_ to and not for the media that her heart begins to pound. She offers T’Challa her hand, and he pulls her into a hug. More flashes go off, and Natasha winces in anticipation of being the headline news.

 

Clearing this throat, T'Challa motions to the doors of the chamber. Everyone quiets. "I was rather optimistic about this meeting, so I brought a few... guests."

 

As if on some universal signal, the doors fly open. Natasha cranes her neck expecting to see Steve or Wanda or Clint but instead a dark blur races past them to latch its arms around Phil Coulson's neck. Both the blur and Coulson are motionless for moment, hanging in a pocket of time, breathing each other in. Natasha feels the room tremble almost imperceptibly, and assumes it's the woman’s powers of which Coulson spoke. There is no doubt in her mind that this is his soulmate.

 

The two begin murmuring to each other, hands clasped tightly together as if at any moment they might be broken apart again. Natasha looks back toward the door to give them a little more privacy, nudging Tony forward as well.

 

Clint and Wanda enter the room together, and Natasha is surprised because Wanda actually seems repentant. She stands several feet away as Clint swoops Nat into a hug that causes her to forgive him instantly.

 

"I never want to fight you again," she admits, burying her head in the crevice between his neck and shoulder. She feels, rather than sees, him sigh.

 

"Me too," he says seriously, before pulling back and lightening the mood: "well, after you explain to me how you could _not_ tell me Stark was your soulmate. I mean, I know, it's pretty bad, but I thought I was your best friend." He pouts, and Natasha is unable to hold back the smile that takes over her face.

 

"You are," she tells him. "That is," she adds, "when you're not being an idiot." But she says it fondly, so Clint grins at her before moving on to greet the rest of the team.

 

Wanda marches up to her, trying to act brave and immovable but is so obviously terrified. "Natasha," she states blandly, staring straight into Nat's soul.

 

"Wanda," she returns, purposefully infusing her voice with warmth and sincere guilt. Wanda is visibly taken aback, and her facade falters. "Wanda," Natasha repeats like a broken record, "I am so sorry for what you went through. It was Tony’s and my pride that put you in that prison, and I hope someday you can forgive me."

 

Wanda’s shoulders relax, and she reaches for Natasha’s hand. She squeezes it once before dropping it, and as she witnesses her clear nervousness at initiating the touch Natasha realizes that she never really made herself accessible for Wanda. The girl has lost her parents, her brother, and then, finally, her powers failed her at the worst moment. These are things Natasha should understand.

 

Wanda begins to speak again, and she is visibly more genuine: “I am sorry as well. I was arrogant, and clearly in the wrong.”

 

Natasha smiles gently, feeling Tony’s eyes on the two of them. She knows he wants to speak to Wanda, maybe even more than he wants to see Steve, and ushers her towards him. The two women promise to talk later, and though Natasha gets the feeling they will never be best friends, she knows they should at least learn to stick together.

 

She exchanges greetings with Ant-Man, who is anxiously waiting to reunite with his daughter. Tony comes up behind her and tells him to use his private jet (they borrowed Pepper’s in anticipation of this very thing) and Clint offers to fly it. Both men, eager to see their families, say their farewells and, after speaking to UN officials about copying the Accords for them read, make for the door.

 

Despite the atmosphere of the room, Natasha can feel Tony watching the door.

 

“He might not have come,” she says under her breath, so only he will hear. She is just as disappointed as him.

 

Tony turns into her; his dark eyes searching hers. They are only inches away from each other, and she can see him readying himself to deflect. Suddenly, though, something changes, and he twines their fingers together.

 

“I don’t really blame him,” he tells her quietly. “But that doesn’t matter all the sudden – I mean, it does but it doesn’t right now.” If his tone wasn’t so urgent, she would’ve had no qualms about laughing as he stumbled over his words. “What I mean is… Natasha I-”

 

“Natasha… Tony.”

 

Tony stops short at that voice; that hesitant tone Steve hadn’t used with him in years. The man himself looks small, compact, as if folding in on himself will make Tony more comfortable.

 

It only makes him sick to his stomach.

 

He looks over at Natasha; she is staring at Steve like she wants to kill him and pull him into her arms altogether, but she does neither. Her body is angled towards Tony and he realizes they are both waiting for him to say _something_.

 

He wants to say hello, to say that he’s sorry, but instead what comes out is, “Are you here alone? Where is…”

 

“Not here,” Steve answers quickly, though he frowns at the obvious relief in Tony’s expression. “Safe, though.” Pause. “He can’t hurt anyone; he made us put him under,” he amends.

 

Natasha softens almost imperceptibly. “He’s always been better than he thinks.”

 

Tony is not surprised (Natasha and he had already had _that_ long conversation) but Steve is, though he recognizes now isn’t the time for reminiscing. Instead, he only nods.

 

“I won’t be coming back with you, at least not for now,” he tells Natasha; he won’t really meet Tony’s eyes.

 

“That’s probably for the best,” Natasha replies, and her hand brushes under Tony’s elbow in what he recognizes as a sign of solidarity. The entire room has gone relatively quiet; everyone is involved in half-focused conversations as they try to keep their eyes from the three superheroes near the door.

 

Tony remembers the reporter Natasha and he had spoken with at the MET Gala. He remembers the horrible things that had been circling about his soulmate, and his aversion towards the parallels with Steve’s soulmate. Once again, he is struck with the feeling that, though Ironman and Captain America are just about as different as two people can get, at their core, Steve and Tony are similar. This time, he pushes the aversion away.

 

“Cap,” he says, sudden, and Steve’s eyes dart from a point past Natasha’s head to meet his. “I was wrong.” Natasha’s hand tightens on his elbow, and though he is about to keep speaking, he listens to her body language and waits.

 

Steve runs a hand through his hair and furrows his brow. Tony knows these emotions don’t come easy to him. “You were,” he concedes. “But even though I was right about General Ross in the end, you had good points that I refused to listen to. That’s not what a good team leader does.”

 

Tony hesitates a moment before stretching out a hand. When Steve takes it, the world suddenly doesn’t feel so heavy. 

 

*

 

It is an unremarkable day when Tony decides to act, and maybe that is remarkable in and of itself.

 

The accords have been signed, the Avengers returned to the compound, and now it is back to the constant pace of training. That morning, Natasha spars with Clint while the rest of the team takes notes, but Tony only has eyes for Natasha’s red hair as it rises and falls around her, the way her mouth turns up (but only at the corner) when Clint manages to hit her, the way her fingers twist around her knife and how broken he knows she is but how strong she stays and _oh_.

 

_Oh,_ he thinks.

 

He’s in love.

 

He’s been for a while, probably, thinking of the hope in his soulmate’s eyes in Vienna, the insuppressible trust he felt when she showed him her mark.

 

(he thinks of the smile in her voice when she spoke to him over the comm from Hammer Industries, though he will never admit that to a single soul.)

 

Possibilities flash through his mind: shows, restaurants, events – anything that will make it more likely that she’ll accept him.

 

Then he decides that will take too long.

 

“Okay, Legolas, play time’s over!” He stands, shaking off his nerves because Tony Stark doesn’t _do_ nerves. The rest of the team files out and Clint and Rhodey look far too understanding (he ignores the former’s quip about him losing his nickname edge) but finally they’re alone.

 

Tony fidgets for an instant, before looking up and expects to see confusion, but Natasha only looks at him with a knowing smile. He smirks back, knowing the next action he takes might actually yield shock in those eyes. _Payback,_ he thinks.

 

He walks over to her, taking the knife from her hand and dropping it on the mat. She opens her mouth to say something, and he takes off his shirt.  


“What…” she begins.

 

He removes the armband wrapped around his bicep with one tug, and it falls away to reveal black cursive.

 

_It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Stark._

 

He watches her face transform from apprehension to awe, taking her hand and moving it to rest on his arm, on her first words to him.

 

“I’m in love with you,” he tells her, softly, and the fear he has of those words disappears as her hand tightens on his arm.

 

Her eyes scan his expression, his body language, and he lets the spy in her analyze his honesty. “Are you sure?” She asks, but he knows she wouldn’t ask at all if she didn’t think he was ready.

 

“I’m Tony Stark, _lady_ ,” he teases, pulling her closer. She rolls her eyes, but her smile is already widening. “Damn right I’m sure.”

 

His hands wrap around her waist, exactly where he knows his words spell out that they are for each other. Her lips taste better than he’d ever dreamed.

 

*

 

Honestly, not much changes.

 

They live like they’ve always lived, with work and friends and far too many arguments. Natasha knows she will probably never learn to tell all her secrets, but she suspects Tony has quite a few of his own.

 

They learn to work in tandem with Coulson’s team, and Peter picks up stray gifted children almost every month for them to nurture and send back into the world. Clint says he is retiring but never really does, and slowly Wanda builds back trust with the team and with herself. Natasha learns her brother was her soulmate, and watches the young woman struggle not to cry. She tells Wanda why she kept herself from Tony for so long, and she watches an understanding build itself between them.

 

Steve emails Natasha regularly, and though she knows Tony and he still are not in contact, she also knows it will take time.

 

“Nat?”

 

After closing her laptop, Natasha meets her soulmate’s eyes as he peeks into the room. “Yes?” she replies, standing up. “What is it?”

 

Tony looks sheepish. “Well, Pepper called, and there’s an investors’ dinner tonight, and…”

 

“What did I say about last minute-” she begins, rolling her eyes.

 

“I’m sorry,” he interrupts, his eyes pleading, “but I bought you a dress, and we can go to the farm this weekend because I cleared my schedule for you, and I just swung box seats for that opera you want to see…”

 

Natasha laughs and makes her way across the room, coming to a stop in front of him. She pulls a little on his tie, angling her face up to meet his eyes. “And you’ll make it up to me later, right?” She says, voice low. She looks at him from beneath her eyelashes, watching his eyes darken. He takes her hips in his hands, tracing over the material of her shirt.

 

“On second thought,” he rethinks, leaning in. But before he can blink, she pushes him outside the room and shuts the door in his face. He looks at the white paint, mouth gaping open.

 

“Have the dress dropped by in an hour, and I’ll meet you in the lobby in 2,” she calls through the door, unable to keep the laughter out of her voice.

 

After regaining his ability to speak, he reminds her what happened at the last public event after they had goaded each other past the breaking point. There is no reply, and though Tony knows Natasha does not blush, he imagines the color on her anyways.

 

“I love you,” he tells the door softly.

 

There is a deep exhale on the other side, but she obliges him anyways.

 

“I love you too, shell head.”

 

(the words on his bicep tingle, and somehow it feels like the stars are sighing.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
